I planned the day quite well. We slept late as usual and tried to recover from almost no sleep on Saturday night. Usually she eats in the late morning then takes another little nap. Here's where things started going wrong. She decided to stay awake during the late morning instead. I knew that would be problematic, so I went to the office as soon as we were ready, hoping she'd fall asleep in the car. She did. Perfect party plan saved! I intended to wake her to eat 20 minutes before the party was scheduled to begin. She decided to wake up sooner. Instead of the full meal I expected, she was only interested in a snack and wanted to go back to sleep. She snoozed for a few minutes then woke up when it was time to show her off to all the people. This was not how I had planned our party preparations. However, as we all know, babies really care nothing about their mamas' schedules and plans.
Having had neither a good nap nor a good eat, she was not exactly the happiest baby. She was awake enough though to be alert for everyone and impress everyone with her strong neck. She also looked really cute and received all the compliments about how pretty she is without letting them go to her head. We were happy to play pass the baby, though it came with a caveat: she's fussy, so you probably only have a minute to hold her before she starts crying. She needed a moment with Mama to become calm again between each stranger. Everyone was appropriately understanding and we had a really nice time. I saw some old friends and lots of people stopped by to meet our baby. It was wonderful.
Once everyone left she had a full meal and took a short nap. Some latecomers arrived and she was appropriately calm and content for their visit. I mentioned to them that at least no one from the earlier part of the party would ever talk to me about how easy my baby is. And fortunately before she left, Luciana gave my assistant a sampling of her beautiful smiles as a thank you for the fun party.
"Easy babies." My friend and I were discussing this the other day. People who only see you with your baby while the baby is happily sleeping or otherwise content tend to think you have an easy baby. Or maybe they see lots of pictures of your happy baby and think the baby must be happy 24 hours a day and never fuss. This can make a mom feel pretty bad about herself, especially on days where the baby does nothing but fuss.
I finally suggested that perhaps easy babies really only exist in other people's minds. Sure, some babies are happier than others. Some are even easier than others. But let's face it, all babies cry. Few babies really let their parents get a good night's sleep. Most babies struggle as they learn their place in this world. That's why they need us. That's what makes having a baby hard.
We were out shopping at a kid's consignment event as we discussed this. A mom nearby overhead my comment and jumped in to agree. Which makes me think this "easy baby" problem is universal.
Luciana is a sweet little baby and of course we love her even when she is crying and we can't figure out how to make her feel better. Or when we're driving home and really can't do anything about the fact that she is hungry/uncomfortable/needing-a-clean-diaper other than listen to her scream for ten minutes. Or when, God forbid, we put her down and step into the bathroom ourselves.
I'm really not complaining. I don't think she is a particularly hard baby. So far I think she is a normal baby, and on some days she swings opposite directions on the easy/hard baby pendulum. But on those hard-swinging days, I certainly don't want someone telling me how easy she is to take care of.
So there you go. Some pictures to show our perfect little baby cries. And right now, since she is quietly sleeping in real life, I actually find these pictures kind of endearing. (Don't judge us for taking pictures while the baby cried instead of trying to soothe her. We were doing both, promise.)
**This blog post brought to you by a rare 3.5 hour nap caused by an exhausting party.**
This is, of course, a wonderful post. I actually have a blog post half-written about the same thing.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures of Roman fussing with Luci are priceless. You should remember to fuss for a picture soon, too.
PS If you don't turn off word verification we can't be friends anymore.
ReplyDeleteOh dear I better fix that then! and thanks! I do have a picture of me fussing with her but you can't really tell she is fussing, just me. The very next photo is of my reaction to her particularly potent release of that "fussiness."
ReplyDeleteI love the photo of roman pouting at lulu pouting ;) hehehe.... ps. easy babies and teenagers are just alike. myths except in our own minds of other people's kids. :) because, really, nobody ever shows off their dark moments! (or at least, almost nobody).
ReplyDeleteoh, and mom always said, sometimes your baby needs to cry without you rushing to save the day. its the way of the world. just like they need to spend some time in the playpen, or in their own bed, at some point. i just remembered that, tho obviously she didnt mean ignore your baby either!! hehehe, which is a little like how that comes across :)
ReplyDelete