Luciana: 3 months!

Luciana turned three months old last Tuesday. My goodness, the time does fly.

A review of her third month and some 3 month pictures:

Three months was a happy month for Luci! She spent most of her awake moments smiling and interacting with people around her, much to the delight of her mama. She would flash a grin at strangers in the grocery store, greet us with smiles after naps and absences, and beam at us whenever we got close enough for her to recognize us. She loves to have long and intelligent conversations with Papi, practicing all sorts of vowels and intonations. It is amazing how long you will sit and wait for a smile from a baby!

Luci smiling at Papi!

She likes to suck on her hands. I don't love this! I'm hoping it's a phase of exploration, especially since she doesn't do it when she's falling asleep. (She also is very selective about when and which pacifier she will take!)

Another new accomplishment was that she started being able to fall asleep on her own without being held. During the day when she was happy I'd put her in her favorite chair. She'd coo and smile for a while, she'd look around for a bit, and the next thing I knew she'd be asleep. It happened completely by accident for the first few days but then I started trying to put her down at just the right time to let her nap. 

Nighttimes continued to be challenging as she would not sleep in her own bed and woke every 1-2 hours to eat. Saddest of all, she no longer enjoys sleeping all snuggled on my chest. 

She is growing well. We estimate she was around 9.5 pounds at 3 months. She looks so big to us even though she is still the size of some newborns! It is already hard to conceive that she used to be so tiny that our hands were wider than her back and that she could fit in those precious teeny preemie clothes. She is making a long transition from newborn clothes (mostly too small) to 0-3 month clothes (mostly too big) and still wears newborn diapers. Here's a fun comparison!

February 5 vs April 1

She is pretty good at communicating and we can often understand the following:

I would like to eat soon please.

FEED ME NOW!

I'm kind of sleepy and I think I might take a nap all by myself. 

I am very tired and need help falling asleep.

Please take me to the potty.

No, thank you, I do not want to use the potty right now!

Hmm, I'm uncomfortable.

Something is really hurting me!

How come no one is paying attention to me right now?

Why did you put me down? You've totally ruined my day.

We know best that she is hungry because she does the "woodpecker" against your neck and chest (a month ago she would just start sucking on your neck) and occasionally throws her whole body in the general direction of where she perceives there might be milk. When she is really tired her eyes get all red and puffy. She doesn't like having a blanket on her and always kicks it off. (She has hated being swaddled for a while now - we gave that up way back at week 3.) She loves to stand (supported) and has strong legs! 

She's stayed with three baby-sitters so far and had plenty of evenings home with Daddy while I'm off playing with orchestras. We still spend lots of days at home just the two of us, at least two a week.

When Luciana was born, I didn't necessarily have that instantaneous love and deep connection that some people feel. I was smitten with her and couldn't stop looking at her and discovering new things about her. But it felt awkward and not genuine somehow to say that I loved her. Someone asked me a few weeks after she born if I was head over heels in love with her and I said I'm not sure. And the individual continued, well, does it hurt your heart to leave her? No, it didn't. It still doesn't. But I'm awfully glad to come home to her when I'm gone. 

Somewhere along the way though I came to truly adore and cherish and love this beautiful little creation. One day this month I heard myself tell her that I loved her and it no longer felt strange. And every day love goes deeper and hurts your heart more in its purity and beauty. (Is this really how God loves me? Amazing.) I can't believe she came from me. She is a gift.

The saddest thing that has happened is that somehow I lost all the pictures and videos from my phone from when Luci was born until today. I'm not sure what I did but it is tragic*. I'll just have to stare at her extra long. And post more pictures for you later from Roman's phone!

[Preview for four months: Definitely not as happy as three months. What's with the fussy baby? However, she has a great new accomplishment. Here's a hint: it starts with s and ends with leep!]



*I wrote this post before hearing about the explosions at the Boston marathon happening at about the same time. Losing hundreds of pictures and videos seems so trivial compared to the true tragedies of life. I love my city.